


Never Been Easy

by Lady_Ganesh



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Community: hc_bingo, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-21
Updated: 2011-06-21
Packaged: 2017-10-20 14:45:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Ganesh/pseuds/Lady_Ganesh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After reuniting with his brother, Dokugakuji has a lot to think about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Been Easy

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt was "scars," and [](http://lindentreeisle.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**lindentreeisle**](http://lindentreeisle.dreamwidth.org/) betaed.

Gojyo wore his hair longer now, down around his face.

That was probably why Dokugakuji hadn't noticed the scars at first. Three lines on Gojyo’s cheek, just like the thin lines of blood he'd seen when Mom had finally fallen. He'd been so scared. Shit, they both had been. "You," Gojyo'd said, when they'd both caught their breath, when it'd really sunk in that Mom wasn't moving, wasn't going to get up again. "You--"

"I'm going to have to leave," he'd said. He was still holding the sword. He'd struck at her and he'd struck again and-- _"Mom,"_ he said, and sunk down on his knees.

Gojyo'd run to him, held him so tight it'd hurt; hadn't hurt enough. He had just wanted to stop her. Hadn't he?

"You-- you gotta put something on your face. It'll get infected."

"Yeah," Gojyo said. "Later. Jien--"

"I killed her."

"You saved my life."

They'd both been right, but it didn't ease the hurt any. He'd sent Gojyo to the bathroom to clean up--

He'd run. Like a coward, like someone out of a story. He didn't know what he was thinking; guess he hadn't been thinking much at all, beyond old lady Fang coming in the afternoon like she'd promised and finding him, finding _her,_ and what the clan would do, what the clan law said.

But shit, he'd _left_ him. Like Fang was gonna be happy to find the half-breed kid all alone with Mom's body. What had Gojyo done, after that?

His brother’d done okay, though, hadn’t he? He’d looked healthy, strong. Long and lean and swaggering like Dad used to. Bet he never had trouble with girls. It'd been good to see him, so good, even if they were on different sides now.

But those scars--

He sighed. He'd _told_ Gojyo to wash them and put something on them, dammit. Dumb kid.

"Dokugakuji-san?"

Yaone, walking steadily toward him. "Hey," he said, ignoring the worry on her face. "Kou still yelling?"

She smiled. "A bit," she said. Dokugakuji'd left when Kou had started lecturing Lirin about wandering off on her own. He'd needed the quiet. "But that’s not what I'm concerned about, at the moment."

"I'm fine," he said.

"Your brother," she said. "He looked well. He -- I believe he was the gentleman who threw the ashtray in my defense. That first time we fought."

Dokugakuji chuckled. "Yeah," he said. "That sounds like him."

"I'm sorry," she said.

"He made his choice, I made mine," he said. "It's all right. I'm glad -- I'm glad he found something he wanted to fight for, yaknow?"

"I guess I do," she said, smiling at him.

"Mom," he said, and it caught in his throat and stuck for a moment. "He wasn't Mom's, his mother was dead. She took him in, but...."

He let the word hang in the air for a minute. He'd said too much already.

She took his arm, gently.

"Those scars," he said. "On his face. That was her. Her--" He stared at his own hand, the claws he always kept trimmed. "I kept thinking, maybe if things went better, things were different, she'd get better. But I couldn't save her."

She put her arm around his shoulders. "It wasn't your fault."

He shook his head. He couldn't tell her the truth. Even if he did, she'd still tell him it wasn't his fault, he'd had to save his brother. That was Yaone, sweet and thoughtful and kind. "Eh," he said, shrugging it off. "I'll be fine." He would be, even if some things still lingered. He slid an arm around her and grinned, with more lightness than he felt. "C'mon, let's see if Kou's done yelling."

"I suppose we should," Yaone said, chuckling, and they turned back toward the castle together.


End file.
